Self-Compassion

How much compassion do you have for yourself?

To answer that, you of course need to have a solid understanding of what self-compassion is.

Kristin Neff is a renowned researcher of self-compassion. And she says there are three main components of self-compassion.

The first is being warm to yourself–even if you fail or have doubts. Self-compassionate people understand that failure and hardship are part of life. And they are gentle with themselves during these times. Judging yourself harshly is not actually helping yourself do better.

The second piece of self-compassion is recognizing that you’re human, and as a human, you’re not alone in your suffering or the ways you have failed. We are all imperfect. It’s part of the shared human experience.

The last piece of self-compassion is mindfulness. When you feel difficult emotions, you’re able to observe them with clarity, and a bit of distance. You are not your emotions. You are the observer of your emotions. It’s about balance. Feel your emotions and notice your thoughts, but try not to over-identify with them.

Here’s a quick exercise for practicing more self-compassion. When you’re having a hard time, take a self-compassion break.

First, acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering. You’re having a hard time. Say to yourself something like “This hurts,” or “This is stressful.”

Next, invite yourself to remember that suffering is a part of life; we all suffer. Try saying to yourself, “Other people feel this way too,” or “I’m not alone in this feeling.”

If you’re comfortable, put your hand on your heart, stroke your hair, or give yourself a hug. Say, “May I be kind to myself.” Or ask yourself what you need to hear right now and say that. Some other things you could say are “May I give myself the compassion that I need,” or “May I learn to accept myself as I am.”

You deserve self-compassion. You are worth it.

BeMe

Do you have much self-compassion? Learn more about what it is and why it’s important.

BeMe

Self-Compassion

Do you have much self-compassion? Learn more about what it is and why it’s important.

Self-Compassion

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