Today, we’re going to challenge a negative thought. It might be helpful to be able to write your thought down.
First, what’s a negative thought you’ve been struggling with today?
Some examples of negative thoughts: I will never get my life together. No one likes me. I’m going to fail.
Our thoughts, even when they’re negative, are often trying to be helpful. They are trying to protect us in some way. But not all thoughts are true thoughts.
So, we want to see if there are any cognitive distortions in your negative thought. Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that are often negatively biased or inaccurate.
Here are some examples of cognitive distortions. All or Nothing Thinking is when you’re thinking in black and white. There’s no room for gray. Look out for words like “always,” or “never.”
Overgeneralizing. When something negative happens, you think it will always be like that. “I’m sad right now” becomes “I’m always sad.”
Mind Reading. This is when you think you know what someone else is thinking even if they haven’t told you.
Fortune Telling. This is when you think you know what’s going to happen in the future. No one knows what will happen in the future.
Personalizing. This is when you think you’re at fault for something that happened, even if others may share the blame. Or it may have nothing to do with you at all.
There are others as well, but this gives you a taste.
So, looking back at your negative thought, are any cognitive distortions happening? Which ones?
The last step in this process is trying to think of a more balanced thought. A thought that might be just a bit more true, fair, or rational.
Maybe “I’m going to fail,” which is a kind of Fortune Telling, becomes, “I’m going to study hard, but I am nervous.”
Or maybe “No one likes me,” which is a kind of Mind Reading, becomes “I’m having trouble making close connections. I miss my friends from my old school.”
You don’t have to believe your new thought 100%. But it can be helpful to realize that our thoughts aren’t always accurate. There might be room for more than one interpretation.
With practice, it will get easier for you to see your negative thoughts as separate from who you are. You’ll recognize the cognitive distortions in them. And you’ll be able to challenge them more easily.
BeMe